Here you are going to learn exactly how you can stop worrying about everything today.
I also have a huge announcement I am going to make towards the end. So, keep reading…stick around for the entire post!
Let’s get right into the question how do I stop worrying about everything?
Do you ever feel that you can’t turn your brain off?
And do you ever feel worried about worrying too much?
We will deal with this when life gets challenging, but luckily for you, there is a way that you can stop worrying.
And it does not involve alcohol, medicine or a straight jacket.
And that is what we are going to dive deep into this conversation.
The answer is thousands of years old. And you have probably heard about it.
And that is Mindfulness. It seems to be the rage at the moment. Everyone is talking about it. If you search mindfulness on Google and Youtube you will find new information about it every single day.But what I have experienced is that I could not really find a perfect answer.
To what it is or how you can do it. I know this as it was one of my biggest problems I had in life. Why?
I grew up believing that I needed to worry about every single thing in my life.
When I worry about it I can think about it and how to prevent something to become worse. Little did I know this was a paradigm that I formed and created.
Only to make me want to crawl up walls when I was a bit older. (Like in my early 30’s I started realizing what I was doing with my mind.) And how it affected me.
So, what is mindfulness?
In the book: the mindfulness solution, the author, who is a professor of psychology at the medical school of Harvard. He uses this definition.
Which says it very well.
“The working definition of mindfulness that my colleagues and I find most helpful is awareness of present experience with acceptance.”
But what I have to say to that is you are not.
You are sitting there on your phone. That is not being aware. You are worrying about the past or the future – that is not being present.
And you still get angry with the traffic on the road. And that is not you accepting what is happening. That you are wishing for something else. Or you think that something should be in a different way than it actually is. That is not “accepting.”
And very often we are stuck inside our own heads. We are not actually taking the world in. All we are listening to is the endless thoughts that go around in our heads. The endless train of thoughts like a stream wishing by us.
And we never once actually grasps what is going on outside of our body. Only what is going on inside of our head? That is all we can think about. We are permanently stuck inside our heads.
What are the core concepts of mindfulness is that we take our thoughts way too seriously. You see, we go through life thinking that our thoughts actually matter in such a big way. We think that we are our thoughts. And we think that our thoughts are us.
And that is the reason why we go through many negative emotions throughout the day.
Because we care more about what our thoughts of the world are than what the world actually is. And that is such a backward way of thinking. The mindfulness solution book says this:
“Mindfulness practice brings all sorts of insights into the workings of the mind. Perhaps the hardest to grasp is the idea that thoughts are not reality.”
“We are so accustomed to providing a narrative track to our lives and believing in our story that to see things otherwise is a real challenge.”
You know as well as I do that sometimes ridiculous thought goes through your mind. And when we are drunk or high or not in our best state of mind, then we say to ourselves:
Argh, these thoughts don’t really matter.
These thoughts aren’t what I actually think. These thoughts aren’t what I identify myself with. But, mindfulness says that we should adopt this same attitude as we go through our lives every single day.
We should recognize that our thoughts are on the one side and our identity on the other.
And that they are completely separate. Because it is these thoughts, that when you identify yourself with them – that is what makes you anxious or depressed. Because when you perceive your world in a scary way, your brain thinks that something scary is actually happening.
The great psychologist Albert Ellis, which I will give you a bit of a clue to my announcement at the end of our conversation. He said that you should dispute your rational thoughts.
And this is fundamental in understanding how you should overcome your worries. You see, when you have rational thoughts, if you dispute them – then that is the start for you to overcome your irrational thoughts and replacing them with logical, rational and positive thoughts.
But to do this you have to be incredibly logical. And it can be quite difficult.
And sometimes disputing these is like a Chinese finger trap. Do you know what I am talking about? The harder you pull away the harder they ensnare you.
Sometimes it is difficult to argue against these irrational thoughts. So mindfulness says, just let them go.
Here is what the mindfulness solution book has to say about it.
Here is a scientific study on the topic. Dr. Davidson and Dr. Jon Kabat-zinn recruited a group of pressured workers in a biotechnology firm and taught half of them mindfulness meditation for three hours per week over an eight-week period.
They compared this group to a similar group of coworkers who were not taught meditation. On average, all of the workers tipped to the right in their prefrontal cortical activity before taking up meditation.
However, after taking the eight-week course, the meditating group now had more left-sided activation than the non meditators. The meditators also reported that their moods improved and they felt more engaged in their activities.
And I know what you are thinking. It is so much easier to tell you to let your thoughts go by than it is to actually let your thought float by.It is so much easier said than done. And I know you are thinking.
Right, I am just going to let my thoughts float by.
But how exactly do I do that? That’s what you are asking. I know it.
And it is one word that it boils down to. And that is.
And that is something that so many of us just don’t have anymore. But luckily there is a way that we can get it back.
I have told you before about how important attention is to be happy. And what is the most popular way to get more attention?
Well, that is meditation.
But I know for some of you meditation can be too difficult.
This is going to be a bit off the norm. Normally I will highly recommend that you should be doing meditation and even try meditation on autopilot. (Look here.)
But is you are looking for a quick fix that may not work as well in the long run, but it still works well. Then you should immerse yourself in the surroundings.
When you have a cup of coffee. Just sit there and sip a little bit slower and enjoy the taste.
Smell the smell of coffee. When you are washing your hands, don’t just wash your hands as quickly as possible in as little time as possible. (and then leave.)
Focus intently and thoroughly wash your hands.
And that is just incredible. It really brings you to the present moment. If every task that you do. You can pretend that it is the last thing that you are going to do you are going to do it to the best of your ability. And you are going to enjoy it as much as you can.
And I know you are going to comment below saying help, smelling my coffee did not make my worries go away!
Well, I am going to go even deeper to a more down to earth approach that you can use. That will really route out your worry.
I am getting so much closer. This is building up to the big announcement I have. I have got one more point to make and you are going to understand how big this announcement is.
Rather than dodging or disputing yourself from thoughts, instead, you note them. Because by dodging, distracting or disputing your thoughts – this is always going to cause you to wrestle with your thoughts.
Even further, maybe not in the short term, but in the long term, it is going to bite you back in the “ass” so much more.
So, instead of avoiding your thoughts – just note them. Recognize that they are there. And then bring your attention back down to your senses. Back down to your breath. Back down to the feeling of your bed. Or back down to the feeling of the chair that you are sitting in. Or back down to the feeling of the wind blowing on you. Or whatever the case may be. What you can hear around you. Whatever it may be.
Just note your thoughts and then bring your attention right back to your breath or your senses.
When the thoughts arise, label them silently before letting them go. You don’t need very many categories. You might choose labels such as “planning,” “doubting,” “judging,” “fantasizing,” “obsessing,” or “criticizing.”
The particular labels aren’t crucial. What matters is using them to avoid being captured by stories or repetitive tapes. Once you label a thought, gently bring your attention back to the breath.”
If you find that your attention is repeatedly carried away by particular stories, try making up a humorous label for them.
Give these greatest hits their own names, such as you “I blew it again” tape, “I never get what I want” tape, and so on.
And if you are thinking this is just some hip shit, I am telling you that you are wrong.
Studies have proven again and again. That this is more effective than taking anti-depressants.
And this leads me onto my huge announcement:
Sit back, relax and use this video to help you!
From experience I highly recommend that you use earphones to listen to this kind of meditation.
You can see what type I love and use daily for the last year!