The majority of people will never be happy. What is the one thing we all have in common? Can you think about what it is?
Let me help you. We all have different lives, we live in different parts of this world. We have different educations and different religions. But we can all agree on one thing that we all want. And that is to be happy.
Nobody that has ever been born in this world has stood up to this world and declared the following:
“I want to be unhappy.”
“I want to be hated by others.”
“I want to feel miserable.”
So many people I have seen have spent their entire lives searching for happiness and fulfillment.
It is funny how we all work hard and we try hard to achieve success, many times we fail. And then we try again.
Think about it. How many people do you know, who are truly enjoying their life?
My question is the same as yours. Why is it that we all try so hard, but so many of us fail?
Let’s find out.
Most often you hear this. “I’ll be happy when I get that promotion.”
“I’ll be happy as soon as my credit card debt is paid.”
“I’ll be happy when I am married.”
That is our first mistake. We tend to postpone our happiness.
By saying I’ll be happy when… is casting a spell with your words.
You are telling the Universe that you will be happy when… they universe know now that you don’t want to be happy at the moment.
You are sitting waiting for things to happen. Yet they will never happen because you postponed the happiness for an uncertain period.
The problem with us humans is we think we can sit and watch TV at home. Eating popcorn waiting for someone to knock on our door and say:
“Hey, are you, Mrs. Fourie? Here, I made your boss give you a raise. Oh, and by the way. You can pitch to work once a month when you fetch you a paycheck.”
To me, this sounds rather very unrealistic. Yet so many of us wait for some miracle to fall from the sky on our heads and make us happy.
And yes, you guessed it right. Until this happens we refuse to be happy.
My dear friend here is the truth.
If you are not happy now, you most likely will NEVER be happy, no matter what happens.
But, I bet you would snort: “As soon as I have that raise, I will be happy.”
Believe me, I am talking out of the experience when I say the following. Even if you possess all the money you wanted.
You get the raise you so badly wanted. You win the lottery. You have everything your heart desires.
It will be a temporary sense of fulfillment. You see, as soon as it becomes old news and worn off you will want the next thing to keep you happy.
Do you remember when you were small? When you received a new toy for your birthday you would feel so happy.
You would play with it for a week or so until you get bored with it and you wanted another toy.
Now we are adults and it seems that this is still the same. Will we ever learn?
Material things do not create our happiness. It might keep us happy for a week or two, but it sure is not the answer to our happiness.
I agree we all want better things for ourselves. We are all selfish human beings. And this is perfectly normal.
We should never stop to improve our lives and our relationships. To keep on wanting is natural in life. But here is the catch: The idea of we can’t be happy unless we satisfy a certain desire is not!
I am here to tell you that we should not depend on material possessions or certain circumstances to be happy.
So, here it is the glass is either half full or half empty. Of course, the right attitude is to see the glass as half full. Now, I need to be serious with you.
I have always kept this little quote close to my heart:
“Attitude is Everything!”
After trying to find my happiness a few years ago, I spoke to some people and some unsuccessful people.
I found out that successful and unsuccessful people were talking about the obstacles they had on their way. One thing that I note though was that successful people would tell me how they overcame these obstacles, while unsuccessful people just kept on complaining about those same obstacles.
You see the difference is in being optimistic or pessimistic. If you are a pessimistic person who is always looking for the worst in every single situation, instead of enjoying things you already have, there is not a great-enough success to make you happy.
You can win a million dollars today and be the most miserable person on earth. Some people might be thinking of how they can help others with that money, and what they can do to make it work.
The pessimist will think of multiple problems that so much money will bring them. And all the problems they can have and are also scared of losing that money.
Now, read this:
How we perceive our lives and what we make of our current situation has everything to do with our happiness and fulfillment.
If we are consistently looking down the road in search of happiness, I guarantee your chances of finding is close to zero.
It is the same as trying to reach the horizon. With every step you take, the horizon moves with one step as well.
There is always only today, there will never be tomorrow.
If you are always living in the future and looking ahead for the change or the happiness, you risk missing what is right under your feet.
You certainly can’t look into the past for happiness as it is over and gone. Done with!
You can’t look into the future either. There are too many possible outcomes.
You have to learn to be happy in the now. At this very moment.
What is stopping you from being happy right now? At this very moment?
You have arms, legs, a body, a mind. You are reading this. Why can’t you be happy?
So many people that are paralyzed wake up in the morning feeling total bliss and are happy with their lives.
They are grateful for what they are, and who they are. And what they have. They appreciate the birds singing in the garden, and they see the flowers, all beautiful and bright.
They are fighting their physical inabilities every day, yet they are happy. It makes us think. Is your life that bad?
I know, we all have problems. You and I both have to face them daily.
In my opinion, obstacles are put on your path to make you a stronger person.
We need to overcome that obstacle to grow from within.
Now, here is the question.
What makes you unhappy? Is it a lack of money? Lack of love in your life?
Lack of appreciation? Any or all of the above?
Now ask yourself the following question.
How much money do you need to be happy?
How many people have to love you?
Believe me when I tell you there will never be enough.
Happiness is a state of mind.
And from that state of mind comes fulfillment.
No new car or house or any pot of gold will bring that to you.
You see, all these things end sooner or later. Because no material objects can control your sorrow or happiness, pain or disappointment. Your mind becomes restless due to the multitude of desires.
“Stuff” can never make you happy. The only place you can find happiness is in your heart.
Think of your life as a journey. Sure, we all hit some bumps on the road.
The sun won’t shine 24-7. Think about it this way. How many new things you will learn. How many wonderful places you will visit. How many people you will help.
Happiness is not found at the end of the journey.
Happiness is found in the journey itself.
The principles we have discussed above are the basics. We all know about them…
Blah-blah-blah- “don’t worry be happy” crap.
It is true. Have a look around you. See how many people that can say: “I achieved complete happiness. I do not depend on earthy objects or emotions.”
There are only two that I know of. 1. Jesus. 2. Buddha.
The rest of us feel down and unhappy at some point in our lives.
Here is the technique that I use when I feel angry or depressed. It is very powerful and many professional psychologists all over the world us it.
But before I tell you what it is I need you to understand the connection between your mind and your body and how it works.
Emotion is a mental form of the mind.
That emotion produces feelings.
Feelings momentarily turn into physical sensations.
Let’s look here:
You are watching a horror movie. You get a fright, as a physical sensation you will get goosebumps or jump up in your seat. Maybe your heart beats stronger and faster.
Our mind is a very powerful tool.
Here is another example. Imagine you are eating a juicy lemon. Imagine biting into it and chewing carefully. Your mouth will start filling with saliva right away.
The connection is simple. Your mind creates the emotion, and then your body reacts.
So many of us don’t use nearly as much imagination as we should.
We are stuck in the mode of survival and our logic and rationalism.
As a result of this, we use our left brain a lot more often than the right one.
This creates an unbalance in our body, which stops us from being happy.
How do we fix this unbalance?
Visualization uses imagery to change your emotions. You see, it is like a domino reaction.
Emotion changes your feelings.
Feelings change your physical sensations.
Now you will ask me how to visualize your happiness?
Find a quiet place, close your eyes and relax.
Take a couple of deep, slow breaths.
Visualize yourself in a situation that makes you happy. You can walk down the beach at the edge of the ocean.
Feel the soft breeze and the warmth of the sun on your skin. Smell the salty air around you. Imagine the sensation of warm sand touching your bare feet.
Picture yourself holding hands with the person you love, friends waving to you from the other side of the beach.
Concentrate on that feeling of fulfillment and happiness.
You can visualize anything that makes you happy, anything that you want to accomplish.
The important thing is to feel, know, and believe that it can be accomplished.
You have to trust with all your heart that it can be done, that you CAN do it.
After you experience that feeling of happiness you can slowly open your eyes.
Is it a sunny day?
Then take a walk and enjoy the weather, don’t think, just admire and enjoy it.
Or, just start working on making your dreams come true.
Feel that inner excitement because you are one step closer to your goal because there is nothing impossible to you, no obstacle to stop you.
You ARE strong, smart, beautiful, unique and most importantly - happy.
There are a few programs I can suggest if you are not comfortable doing this by yourself in the beginning.
Here is a list of the ones that I use.
The best in my opinion: Mind Movies.
You can also read my true story about Visualization here.
If you are still not certain what Visualization is and how it works you can read here.
I have made a little mind movie for us to enjoy, please watch below:
You see you can make different movies. Look at this one:
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