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What is Forgiveness and why is it important?

Ps 32:1

Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity and whose spirit there is no deceit.






a big word with lots of meaning, but for many people – not easy to do.

Most of us have at some point in our lives been where we needed to forgive someone.  Sometimes we experience hatred and powerful emotions.  If we don’t handle it in a productive manner it can evolve into a potent or emotional war.

But what is Forgiveness then?

Forgiveness is not something you do too or for someone else.  It’s something you do for yourself.  So – what do you do for yourself?  You let go of emotions like hatred, despise, jealousy, grudges, being obsessive and selfishness.

Something does not go the way I wanted it – or planned it.  So I got the opposite of what I wanted.  To realize this is a huge step.  Normally there is nothing you can do about the way things worked out or when you get the opposite of what you wanted.

How do we let go of or deal with these emotions?  One needs to practice forgiveness.

You have to make peace with the “opposite” you got – not for the other person’s sake, but for your own inner self.  It’s not what someone did to you or said to you that you have to make peace with.  It’s you that has to practice finding inner peace because you got the opposite of what you really wanted.

Something I experienced.

A Few years ago I got the opposite of what I wanted three times in a row from a very close family member of mine.  I was going through a divorce at the same time.  This has given me so much experience about “forgive and forget.”  So many people will walk around preaching about forgive and forget, yet I truly don’t think they have a clue what forgiveness (forgive) means.

The forget part comes naturally once you move on if the forgive part was done and handled in the correct manner.

What I mean by this is:


Your self-growth will be tremendous once you are able to practice forgiveness.

Normally people with inner conflict and negative lives struggle and sometimes never forgive.

I quote Mahatma Gandhi:  “The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”


That’s why some people carry so much hate and grief inside them for such long periods.


First, let’s stick to those who can’t forgive.

They put themselves in their own holding cell and from there into their own jail.

Because they are too proud to forgive they will rather stay in their own little jail filled with fear and anger.

Some people also love to grab hold of heartache and pain, hatred, disappointment, tension, disappointment and make it their own.

Hurt that is cherished changes into hatred and bitterness which in time leads to physical and mental illness.  (In your own little Jail.)

We need to get rid of bitterness, anger, frustration and we need to replace this with gratitude.

I like to compare forgiveness with a car engine:  Forgiveness is the engine!

The moment you start it and pull away in first gear you start driving away from the negative emotions in your life.  Remember to change gears and keep yourself going.

This vehicle has only 3 gears and you need to learn the different gears you will be driving in.

1. Acknowledgment:

This can be hard. -I didn’t get something I wanted or it did not go my way.  People tend to suppress a bad experience or feelings and go into denial about it – This may take a lot of effort on your part to acknowledge.

The harm it’s done as well as the consequences thereof.  (Call the problem by its name.)

2. Experience Feelings:

You need to go back and experience all those negative feelings again to be able to heal from whatever it is you’re struggling with.

You’re allowed to feel this and work through it to overcome it.  (Take your time)

3.  No Secret:

As always it’s good to admit something to someone.  Choose a person and say out loud that you have forgiven who or whatever.  The moment you hear yourself saying this you have admitted it to be true.

Even if you don’t say it to that person directly say it to – a friend or a confidant out loud as if you are talking to the one you feel did harm to you.


  • Forgiveness is the first step to recovery of any relationship.
  • Forgiveness leads to a change of heart.
  • Be patient – it takes time and every body’s time is different in length.
  • Never seek revenge – this will hurt you even more.
  • Forgiveness does not mean you need to keep on accepting what the other person has done.  You need to be able to make peace and use the bare hand you where dealt with and make the most of it.

LAST:  Like everything else in my life I believe everything in life is a choice.  You need to make a choice to forgive and start dealing with it.

Go on, put your engine into FIRST GEAR! 

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